Healing The Mind
By Dr. Theodis Gamet
There are endless reasons why a person can get “stuck” and not progress. Whether it be a job, business, personal relationships, past mistakes, or our upbringing, we get hindered from moving forward. So, we would like to share with you how to get past those stumbling blocks and on the road to healing and ultimately to success.
Everyone has things in their lives that are potential obstacles or roadblocks that can look so huge and foreboding that most people don’t even attempt to go through them or even try to skirt around them. These are lies that we were told as a child or lies we’ve told ourselves and believed. The lies have become a part of our mentality and reality and we are attached to them emotionally. Most of us don’t acknowledge them nor are we aware that the lies that we believe may be what are holding us back from progressing.
Only around five percent of the population in the United States have made the effort to address things in their lives that restrain them and hold them back. But, those five percent have set themselves apart from the rest. They are the ones who know who they are, what they want to do, and go for it.
When you know who you are and what you want to accomplish, it is much easier to get there. For most people getting from here to there is not as easy as one might think. Trying to figure out who you are is one thing, trying to figure out what you want to do is another, and by the way, how do you know when you get to where you want to go?
To be in the place you really want to be, you first need to get stumbling blocks or issues you have created all your life out of your way. There is a process to find out what those issues are and neutralize them but it takes a courageous person to go through those steps. Our thoughts, memories, and feelings keep telling us that the lies are the truth when in fact they are the vehicles that hold us back in life or cause us pain. But the problem is most people tend to hold tightly on to baggage that restrains them, causing them pain and uncertainty and creating all kinds of trauma.
Next, after you identify the obstacles that hold you back and start working on them, then you can start identifying your dreams. If you are like most people, you have lost your dream. God’s creation which is all of mankind, were created to dream and to see their dreams come to fruition but how do we recognize what our dreams are, and then how do we see our dreams fulfilled?
This exercise is for those who have lost their dream and therefore do not even know what their goals are. You have to know where you are going before you can have goals. Do you embrace your dreams and goals or do you shy away from them altogether?
There are lots of questions that you will have to discover the answers to but you need to answer every single question so that you can get to the place where you can identify your dreams before you can even start addressing your goals. Let’s take a look at some examples of the things that may be holding you back. Which ones resonate with you?
What Holds YOU Back
When you are faced with a new opportunity, how does it make you feel? Can you identify with any of the following examples?
- I feel insufficient.
- I feel unmotivated.
- I feel nervous.
- I feel fearful.
- I feel under stress.
- I feel unsuccessful.
- I feel like I’m lacking something inside.
- I feel like I cannot commit.
- I feel overwhelmed.
- I feel like I just can’t do it.
We Have to Believe in Ourselves
What are the feelings inside of you that hold you back? Can you get in touch with those feelings because those feelings are what is hindering you from believing that you can do it. Can you identify other feelings that fall into this category as well? All of those feelings are what is keeping you from believing in yourself perhaps for the very first time. Ask yourself, “How willing am I to make this happen?”
Some people will have to work harder than others to make things happen in their lives to achieve their goals. The main thing is to be able to identify those things when something is bothering you and making you feel tense or uncomfortable so you can address those things and conquer them. Remember, to be able to make forward progress is a process and that’s ok. Your goal right now is to start – to make up your mind that this is something you really want to do. How strong is your determination right now?
Do you want to overcome obstacles in your life? Do you want the floodgates to open and shower you with all kinds of blessings? Then there is work to be done because the positive flow that you will receive by going through this process is what you will need to move forward because it does not come automatically.
How to Change Your Negatives into Positives
Do you have negative, controlling, or manipulative people surrounding you? When you are dealing with an abundance of negative energy it is hard to live in a positive state at the same time. In fact, when a person has a lot of negative energy surrounding them it is easy to get to a place where they become frozen emotionally, frustrated, fearful, depressed, and even possibly feeling like they are being used and abused, etc. When you are in a negative state you are not in control of your life. Your negative feelings are definitely in control and probably something or someone else is in control as well whether you want to believe it or not.
The hard part is getting to the place where you make up your mind that things have to change. That is why so many people have to get down to the very bottom of their being before they try to find a way to make permanent changes. The majority of people have to get to the point where they can’t do what they have been doing any longer. They have come to a point where they realize and it becomes very clear to them that they have to change before good and positive things can become their way of life.
Are you sick or hurt physically? If you are sick or have a disease, no matter how hard you try, you have negative energy. It is very discouraging and depressing for most people who are chronically sick or in constant pain. Sickness has to be addressed as you move toward your dreams and goals. To be well and have positive energy physically, you will need to commit to a healthy life style. The ultimate goal is to have positive energy in every area of your life – emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Following are the main things that need to be addressed to have positive energy with a healthy body, mind, and emotions:
- Unhealthy relationships
- Your living environment
- Unhealthy thoughts
- Your job
- Chemicals in your body
- An acidic body
What is an “AHA Moment”
An “aha moment” is life changing. Before you can have an “aha moment” you have to come to the realization that something needs to change and that you will have to adjust your thinking and actions accordingly. This realization becomes so strong that you literally have to commit to it even before you know how it will work out. You have to identify and accept the truth with what your subconscious has been trying to tell you but you have refused to listen. You have to “agree” with that truth and protect that truth. It might be that you realize something in the core of your being and have to draw a line and say, “don’t go over this line – NO TRESSPASSING!” You might have to change your circumstances. Whatever you have to do, if you commit yourself to change, you are a brave person indeed.
You might have to let people know that they cannot do certain things to you any more or that you will not allow certain things any longer. That is what is called “setting a boundary.”
Setting boundaries will start defining who you really are. You can actually change the course of your life with an “aha moment!” I believe it is when the universe agrees with you or you agree with the universe. In any case, God looks down and smiles and winks at you and opens up the floodgates and makes positive things happen in your life. I believe that one of God’s vehicles for communicating with us is with positive energy. The more positive energy we have the clearer we can sense his direction. Most people call it “having a gut feeling.” Once you start having a flow of positive energy, your objective should be to protect that positive energy flow and keep adding to it.
The good news is that when you clear out negative energy, you can get rid of depression and sometimes even emotional sickness that is stored in your body. People will notice that something is different about you. You will start attracting positive people and positive things in your life. You cannot change another person but you can change yourself. You’ve gotta love those “aha moments!”
Come to Terms with Who You Are
Is it hard for you to write down your goals? Do you get frustrated? If you do then you may not know who you are and what you want to accomplish. How can you know what your goals are when you don’t even know who YOU really are and what YOU really want to do?
Have you ever considered getting a business mentor or a personal mentor? Well, you may need one or the other or perhaps both. Successful people have mentors and life coaches. They help you focus on what is important to you. They will ask the tough questions like:
- What motivates you?
- What un-motivates you?
- What do you like?
- What do you not like?
- What energizes you?
- What robs you of your energy?
- What makes you feel good?
- What makes you feel bad about yourself?
- What makes you happy?
- What makes you sad?
- What is important to you?
- What is un-important to you?
- What do you think about?
- What do you dream about?
- What is your core personality?
- How do you define yourself?
- What do you want to accomplish?
- What do you want to have?
- What are your roles in life?
- And, the big one – What is your WHY?
These questions will lead to other questions. Get a pen and paper and buy a journal or purchase Healing the Mind Workbook. Write down these questions leaving enough room for your answers. Then take them one by one and answer the ones you can. You may have to answer some of the easier questions before you can tune into the harder ones.
You may have to have a mentor or life coach to help you work through these questions. Going through the above process and having a mentor can change your life. Follow your dream and set your goals accordingly and see them unfold and come to pass right before your eyes. Whether you have your own business, a job, or are unemployed you can do something that points you in the direction of success. If you cannot afford a mentor, ask someone that you know who is successful. Perhaps that person is the right mentor for you for the time being. Don’t get discouraged. It is my recommendation that you find a personal and business mentor as soon as possible.
Self-sabotage is Your Number One Enemy
When you do the opposite of what makes you happy, that is what is called self-sabotage. Sometimes we are our worst enemy. For you to progress, you have to change yourself and how you think about yourself. You have to address those thoughts and feelings that you are attached to in negative ways like rejection, abandonment, self-loathing, self-doubting, low self-esteem, etc. because when you have negative energy, you automatically attract a negative lifestyle that sets you up for self-sabotaging.
Unless you directly address the issue of self-sabotage, it will definitely affect you from achieving your goals. Self-sabotage is not the problem it is actually a symptom; it is the symptom that causes a blockage that hinders you from progressing forward. Unless you reverse this symptom you will continue with your familiar behavior.
Self-sabotage is just that. It is when we get in our own way. We are the ones causing our own problems and that becomes very clear as you overcome self-sabotage. People suffering from self-sabotage continue to think that they can just will themselves out of their behavior but it doesn’t work that way.
If you have experienced a lot of negativity and negative emotions and relationships, there is a good chance that you are self-sabotaging. You have not found a way to give up your negative behavior attracting all of your negative energy. In fact, you are just doing what is familiar. No matter how hard you try, positive affirmation cannot override the familiar.
The familiar is what is “home” to you. It is your “safe” place. It is what brings you “comfort,” and yes, even “pleasure.” The unfamiliar is totally opposite so you feel scared and do not trust change. If you go too far you might fall off the cliff and it will be impossible to return to your “safe” place!
So what is the answer to self-sabotage? The answer is to get to the roots of self-sabotage and disarm them. The roots are what give self-sabotage its power so get rid of the roots and you get rid of the self-sabotaging behavior.
The Solution to Self-sabotage
I will tell that going through this process is a lot of hard work but it is more than worth it. The solution to becoming the person you want to be and leaving the negative behind including self-sabotage is by journaling. That may sound really simple but I can assure you it facing yourself is not always easy. I can tell you though that journaling can be a powerful tool in your life. There is method I will share with you that works! This method will help you clear out the negative energy inside of you and allow positive energy to flow in its place.
Journaling will help you to become enlightened and more in tune with your subconscious. You already have all the answers to your questions, you just don’t know that yet. Unless you do something to help you get over your barriers or lies that you have believed about yourself – you will continue to be stuck in your same old negative attachments and self-sabotaging ways.
The Simple Way to Progress – by Journaling
As you go through your journaling you will discover what you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have. By discovering who you really are, you will find your dream(s) and then be able to make a plan on how to see your dream(s) come to pass. This is huge! What if we had a movement of people fulfilling their dreams and what they were created to do? That would be awesome!
There is a simple way to get in touch with your feelings and it is by journaling. This process can be very emotional and tiring though, especially at first. The more you get the negative feelings out that are affecting you the most, the easier the process will become.
The Process of Journaling
Journaling is a method of helping you to tap into your inner problem-solver. Journaling helps you to work out your problems and negative issues without over-thinking them. Getting your negative thoughts out of your head and onto paper will help you to relieve feelings of emotional pain.
There are different ways to journal but our way is different. The basic method is still the same where you write your feelings and thoughts on paper but we go further than that. Our method helps to clear out those negative feelings by replacing them with positive ones.
The method is this: Write down a question of something that eludes you from understanding or confuses you and then proceed to answer the question. Or write down a scenario of how you are feeling or what is bothering you at the moment. The main thing is to write until there are no more words flowing from you. Do not censor your words – do not even think about them or try to make sense of them – just write them down.
Next after you are finished setting up this whole scenario, under what you just wrote, write down “The Lie” and underline it. Now go through and read what you have just journaled and write down the lies or negatives that you find, things that you have believed about yourself. For example, you may write down the question, “Why do I feel unsuccessful.” You then write all the words that come from your thoughts and feelings until there are no more words. You should not try to censor your words – just write them as they come whether you agree with them or not because you probably will not agree with the words you have written down. You may have the past mixed in with the present and you may not identify with those words at all. It’s all good – just write them all down and get that junk out – all of it.
The lies will be obvious to figure out. They will be staring you in the face. Remember, make sure you stay with this process until there are no more words. There probably will be numerous lies you will find in that one journal – just write them all down. It is like a condensing exercise. You may have to revisit this subject again at a different time on a different level. Just make sure you are truthful with yourself on how you are feeling at the moment.
Next, write down the words “The Truth” and underline it. You may not see “the truth” being fulfilled right now but write down the truth anyway. You may not feel as though you are successful but write it down anyway. Write down all the words that come to you. The truth is the opposite of the lies. Turn those negatives into positives and write the truths down. As you do this exercise, you may feel the positive power rising up in you and you start to feel the positive breaking through the ugly lie you previously wrote. This is where you will see how the positive dispels the negative. This exercise is so simple yet it is so difficult because we have to come face to face with our secret fears and that is one of the hardest things we will ever have to do.
We have believed all our lives that “the lie” is “the truth” and that “the lie” is more powerful than “the truth,” therefore, we believe “the lie” over “the truth.” But the truth is: “the truth” is more powerful than “the lie!” You will believe this as you see it unfolding in your life.
You may be inspired to journal a lot in a short period of time. That is perfectly normal because you are releasing things and once you start the process you might find that you are getting tremendous amounts of relief. Do what you have to do. You will find that in time things will slow down as you get in tune with your inner self and the real you becomes apparent.
Remember, journaling is a method of finding out who you really are and it will take time. You will discover the real you and have more peace and joy in your life so enjoy the process.
How to Identify Your Dream
When you go through your questions and become really honest with yourself and write down what you want to have, you will discover your “have” is your “dream.” It becomes so simple you may wonder why you never have been able to identify it before.
To get to what you want to have, you first have to understand who you are as a person in the core of your being, what you want to do or accomplish in life, and only then can you realize what your dream is.
Do you have a secret – something so precious to you that you dare not tell anyone? This is something you find yourself thinking about but believe it is a “pipe dream” and that it could never happen. This is your fantasy, you think, and it is something you will allow yourself to think about only on occasion and can never relate to as a possibility to happen in reality. You usually snap yourself back to reality thinking as soon as you can get control of your thoughts! Guess what? This is your dream! You may have to adjust your dream as it starts to unfold, but I believe your basic dream is what you were created to do.
Those Darn Barriers
In your mind’s eye you may have had walls up that you could not go through. The walls looked thick like concrete walls and you dared not approach them to even get close to them. In the past you may have had job opportunities or business opportunities but would soon visualize walls and quickly decide that you couldn’t go there. Your fears told you that you could not get through those huge concrete walls. When you would see the walls, they would demotivate you and make you discouraged so that you would not be able to commit or fulfill any commitment you had made and be another one to just fall along the wayside. You felt defeated, discouraged, and certainly not able to fulfill your goals.
What you will find by doing the journaling process though is that those gigantic concrete walls you envisioned are not really hard concrete walls after all. Those walls that you had been afraid to approach is just dark vapors, and when they are exposed to the truth, they dissipate; they leave; they disappear; they take off; they just will not be there anymore! Why? Because “the truth” is more powerful than “the lie” and “the lie” cannot compete with “the truth.” When you realize “the truth”, it is life changing. That is when you have an “aha moment” – when you realize “the truth!” And your life will never be the same!
When you get a taste of positives manifesting in your life instead of negatives, that is such a powerful personal realization that you want more of it. That new positive in your life encourages you and drives you to discover more positives, and more positives, and more positives. It gives you the courage to do the hard work necessary to get through those darn barriers.
What an “Aha Moment” Can Do For You
If you have had something happen in your life that was excruciatingly painful, you remember that, right? It becomes something huge in your life. It is something that you think about often and it reminds you of your pain. You try not to think about it but it is always there.
The beautiful thing about addressing your issues through journaling, setting your boundaries and watching the positive manifesting in your life is, your life will change right before your eyes. You will experience those things that haunted you will just vanish and have no power over you; you will see negative people stop calling you and coming around. Understand that negative cannot stand to be around positive! It is just the way it is. People will feel uncomfortable around you if they have had a controlling and manipulative place in your life because they will discover that they cannot be that way around you any longer. What fun is that? On the other hand, you will find wonderful people coming into your life. You will get so many compliments because people will start seeing the real you because you will exude joy and happiness and self-confidence.
That is what your “aha moment” will do for you. You will like the new you and so will your good friends and supportive family members. Don’t worry about the people who fall away. Soon there will be quality people taking their place and you will soon wonder how you even put up with those people.
Your New Objective
What is your new objective? It is to set personal boundaries so that positive energy can flow through you allowing you to be the creative person you were meant to be. The positive energy you will have will attract other positive energy creating a momentum. So, your “job” will be, if you choose to accept it, is to protect your new positive energy flow and allow it to work through you for the good of you and your family. That might sound difficult or unattainable to you right now, but it is really simple to do because when you get to that point you will just be allowing and not hindering. God our Creator wants to create through you and if you allow this then He will be able to show you His purpose for your life.
While you are going through this process of allowing positive energy to flow in and through you, you will probably have very special moments of realization. Be sure to write those things down as you become aware of them. They will become very precious in your life as you look back and see how far you have come.
Fear paralyzes but it doesn’t have to. There are ways to overcome fears. When you say, “I can’t” then you are defeated before you even get started. The thing did not defeat you, you defeated yourself. You are your own worst enemy when you close yourself off to overcoming your fears.
When you say, “I will” you are giving yourself permission to go forward to accomplish what you want or need to accomplish. Your “why” needs to be so strong that you must find a way to succeed even if it means conquering your fears to get the job done.
When you learn to conquer your fears, then and only then will you see your dreams fulfilled. Turn your negatives into positives. Positives are so much more fun and fulfilling than negatives.
The Three Main Fears
- Fear of Failure
- Fear of Success
- Fear of Rejection
The steps to success, or accomplishing what you were meant to accomplish, depends on the strength of your “why.” If your dreams are good and honorable, then they should stand the test of time, but if your dreams are misplaced motives, I don’t believe you have that positive energy flow attracting good things to happen in your life. Sometimes good things happen to bad people, and sometimes bad things happen to good people, but I believe eventually, when you have a flow of positive energy in your life the good overtakes the bad.
Find out what motivates you. Your “why” will point you in that direction. When you find out what you were created to be you will want to do what motivates you. Does money motivate you? No? Well, don’t use money as a motivation. Do you like helping people? If the answer is yes, then that might be something that will motivate you to get you to your dreams.
When you find out your motivations, flow with them. Don’t fight against what is in your heart to do. When you discover your “why” it will propel you in the direction of fulfilling your dreams. Your “why” has to be so strong that even in the hard times and the times of questioning you will know you are on the right path and have the momentum and initiative to follow your dreams. Your “why” is what you know in your heart you were meant to do but you did not have the courage to believe!
Your Dream is the Process
The journey is the dream; it’s not the destination. When you start on the journey of finding and fulfilling your dream, you are now actually living your dream. The arrival is just the proof or evidence of the belief you had in the process of getting your dreams fulfilled. Your dream is the journey so enjoy the process!
As you discover your “why” and your “how” then you can start believing that your dream is attainable. As you attract more positives in your life, the positives will include ways to fulfill those desires that are in your heart.
What things seem good to you? What seems right? You will find those things coming into your life. You just have to recognize them and allow them to flow through you. Remember, positives attract other positives.
There are other things you will want to write down about yourself. They will help you find out who you are and help you build a good, healthy emotional outlook about yourself.
Personal Things I Need to do: Write a list of things you need to do personally to get you where you want to be. Things like:
- Be consistent
- Be organized
- Be more assertive
- Be brave
- Be kinder
- Be more open
My Affirmations: Write your own affirmations. You can get these from your journaling. Find the positive things you have in your journaling and write them down. Next find the negatives and turn them into positives and write those down as well. Example: Your negative statement may say, “I attract negative people.” Your positive statement would say something like, “I only attract positive people.” Write down that positive affirmation in your journal. This helps you in numerous ways as it affirms the process of leaving behind your negatives and turning them into positives. Read your affirmations often and experience your own personal power welling up inside of you!
Book List: Write down a list of books you want to read to help you in this process. Also choose self-help books that speak to your weaknesses.
Things to Think About: Make a list of things you want to think about or explore. This section may include words to look up and define or a list of businesses or products you may want to consider being involved in to help fulfill your dreams. You might want to write down blogging ideas or a list of articles you want to write. You may want to find ways of helping the sick and poor. This is a think-tank section. Just write what comes to your mind because what is in your heart just may come to pass and these things will be encouragers as you look back and realize they are being fulfilled.
Special Sayings: Have a section for sayings that speak to you. Examples:
- “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”― Theodore Roosevelt
- “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” ― Gautama Buddha
- “Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.” – Mahatma Gandhi
- “There is no such thing as helplessness. It’s just another word for giving up.” – Jefferson Smith
- “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a GIFT. That’s why it’s called the present.” – Family Circus
My Truths: Write down your truths. It might help to affirm where you are going by writing down “The Truths” in your journaling process. You may not want to write down “The Lies” because they have been dispelled and now you want to just focus on your truths. This is just another way of affirming who you really are.
My Roles: Write down your roles. You will find that you have many, many roles. This exercise will help solidify who you really are and what you want to be. Examples:
The list goes on and on. Now out of the list, choose the roles that speak to what you really want to do in your life. Think of your core personality. How do you define who you really are? According to what you want to be, this is the real you!
My “I Am” Affirmations: Lastly, make a list of things that answer your personal affirmations. Examples:
- I am a giver.
- I am prosperous.
- I am a great businessman or businesswoman.
- I am kind.
- I am wise.
- I am a visionary.
- I am intuitive.
- I am loved.
- I am a loving person.
- I am happy.
- I am joyful.
- I am humble
- I am healthy physically.
- I am healthy mentally.
- I am healthy emotionally.
- I am healthy spiritually
Save a lot of room for your affirmations because as you get started on this process you will find a lot of things to write down.
Things to Remember
Your goal is to find out who you are not who others think you are. So, a good thing to remember is while you are still vulnerable and learning the process, only share your dreams with people who will believe in them and encourage you and your journey.
To find out who you are and what you want to do you have to find out what motivates you, what energizes you, and what is important to you.
How you define yourself is who you really are.
What do you want to “have?” What do you think about in your secret moments? This is your dream. As you go through the process of answering these questions, you will discover who you are and what you want to do. Remember, what you want to have – that is your dream!
Learn to dream again. Dare to dream again. Revive your dream. Be the person you were created to be.
What is Your Truth
Finding out your truths may be hard but it is so rewarding. As you find your truths you will see your life change before your eyes. People will notice you in a different way. Your children will see a change in you as well. You will be happier, more fulfilled, more loving, more fun, etc., or maybe this process only works for some people. What do you think?
Anyone Can Change
Anyone can change that wants to change. I mean that with every fiber of my being. I believe this process of finding out who you are and what you were meant to do will help you to be a better person. I believe it will help you find your way and discover what you really want to do in your life. I believe that this process will help you discover what you need to do to provide for yourself and your family if you have a family. I believe this because I believe in this journey. I believe that positive energy attracts positive things in your life.
Do you want to change your negatives into positives? There is a price to pay. You may have to change jobs. You may have to change your relationship with negative people. You may need to make some hard decisions. The main thing to remember is to allow the positive to flow in your life. Don’t try to force good things to happen. Your “job” is to protect the positive flow in your life. Also remember you cannot change anyone else, only yourself. Get comfortable with who you are, and see if your life’s journey changes from the negative to the positive.
If you decide to go on this journey, allow me to be the first to congratulate you. Congratulations and welcome to your new life-changing journey!
Emotional healing is needed by everyone not just the poor. Your willingness to go through this healing process will touch many people. Like I said, anyone can change if they really want to. After you have gone through this process please drop us a note and let us know how your life has been affected and healed.